Johnny Clinn (jc123youandme) wrote in gayromantics,
Johnny Clinn


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"I stand here, holding myself...

Please... I just wanna learn to smile."

Written by John Christopher Clinton

It's hard imagining
the sun on a distant day, rising.

I stand here, holding myself
No where else to go.
Waiting, 'til I fail;
Waiting, to be proven right.

It's so hard trying to imagine...

I truly am capable.
I truly am, loveable.
I truly am going to make it.
If I try, there will be enough time
to breathe, and play, and dream.

Memories lie at times
to keep my heart together.

Waiting for the sound,
The calling;
Waiting to give in and make it;
Waiting, to truly live.

It's so very hard realizing...

No matter if I cry,
No matter if I want...
If I don't try I won't make it.
If I don't, there won't always be
a chance, a dream, a memory.

I stand here, holding myself
as the tears fight back.
Paralyzed; No where to go;
Waiting for that moment...

on a far off distant day.

When I will shine.
When I won't cry.
When I, truly, can try;
Giving my heart, the time it needs
to breathe, to play and dream,

to not be afraid, anymore please.


everlasting heartbreak
Written by John Christopher Clinton

Do you remember even now
all the little lies I told?
Carrying hopes, forgetting them.
You told me once, why is it that I run;
Keeping myself hurt, Living in tears,

It's just easier than, learning to smile...

I know that you know.
You wanna place your hand and heal it.
I know what you want; Where you belong;
At this moment, I reveal myself.
"Are those tears in your eyes?"
Yes. This is me.

Yes. I look away so as not to see...

I was unable to hold my own;
Carrying hopes and thoughts
I should've forgotten.
I didn't come back though,
because I couldn't go on.

Somehow, I believed in what I felt;
Stopping the sorrow, and learning to love...

Who it is I am.
The one you want to give, everything.
I know what you want. I know what you feel.
As of present, I can't love myself that well.
But I face this understanding which...
I can't pull myself away from.

I don't know why it hurts;
How I fix what is broke;
I just wanna go home
and fill what's empty
with what belongs.

I know that you know.
You wanna place your hand and heal it.
Right here; With me here;
I wanna feel complete.
"Are these tears who I am?"
Please. I don't wanna be empty.

Please... I just wanna look your way and smile.

Who is it I am?
I wanna give you everything, everything.
I know that's what I want; Why is it so hard?
At this moment, I can only blame these;
The tears in my eyes, and the emptiness...

Please... I just wanna learn to smile.

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  • 1 comment
thanks for sharing that. i totally understand where you are coming from.

"Please... I just wanna look your way and smile."